Discovering you have failed, be it an exam, an interview, a relationship or a cup final can be crushing. It is not what you planned for and somehow you have to find the energy to carry on, to remain resilient.
Defeats and failures can leave a mark on you, and you can have a view that like cosmetic surgery our setbacks should be glossed over. Or, we can try to remain resilient and accept the reality of things, see setbacks as part of our story, just not the whole thing.
Removing them, pretending to ourselves that they never happened requires energy. It requires us to constantly present a made up vision of ourselves and that energy cannot be used in other ways. We may end up wearing ourselves out covering up our setbacks rather than developing new possibilities that come our way.
Instead of using energy to cover things up, we might work to come to terms with things and in doing so foster our resilience in the face of setbacks, and use it to develop new opportunities as they are uncovered.